wut shud i do anymore mama? tell me! im sick enuff when u did this to me. knpe kite jd camni? nape kite tak leh jd cam org lain? knape? salah ke klau akak rapat sgt dgn ayah? dri kecik mmg dah cmni ma. Ayah will be there wherever or whenever i needed. but u? u nver there 4 me. when i want u to be there, mama ckp ,"Alah.Ckp ngn ayah.Mama xtaw pape". See? U're the 1 who created the gap between us. Mama xadil. Mama xlayan akak mcm mama lyan adik2 laen. Sedih ma. Im crying when i typing all these. Hati saket sgt ma. Nape mam xpenah faham? knape mama salu nk cari salah akak? Knape salah adik2 yg laen mama xpenah nk nmpak? nape mama sggup cover dpan ayah selama sebulan semata2 tanak dorg kantoi depan ayh. Mama sggup kne marah ngn ayah sbb nk cover dorg. Snggup ayh ckp,Isteri curang. Tp akak? sekalipon mama xpenah wat cmtuh. Mama lyan akak xsamarate ngn adik laen.Klau alasan mama,akak da besar,tau jge diri sndri,tp,masalahnye dri akak kecik kite cmni ma.Sekalipon akak rase mama xpenah peluk akak.Xpernah ma.Dri akak drjah 1,akak skola xmcm adik2 laen.Adik2 laen bile masuk drjah 1,mama sggup dtg waktu rehat,teman dorg makan,tp akak?Xpenah pon.Akak sorg je ma.Mama xpenah ckp elok2 ngn akak.Bile akak mntak tolong,mam jarang3 nk tolong.Jarang3 sgt.Bile mntak tolong,mama ckp,"Pandai2 ko laa kak.Aku xtaw pe.Ko pndai ckp ngn ayah je.Ngan aku xnk ckp."Sgt saket ati bile mama ckp cmtuh.Dri kecik mama xpenah nk bahasekan diri mama tu Mama,tp Aku Kau jek.Dgn adik2 lain ni xplak cmtuh.Dri kecik mama layan ok jek.Salah akak ke klau akak rapat dgn ayh? Salah ke ma? Akak da xtahan cmni. Dgn sape akak nk ngadu klau bukan ngn ayh? Bile akak xbgtau mama ape2 yg akak buat,mama tau plak nk marah. Tp bile akak bgtau,mama bukan dgr pon.Lyan pon x.Tnye khbar pon x.Akak lgi senang ckp ngn ayah jek.At least ayah ade REACTION when i talk to him. But u? U never react when i tried to speak. U never look at my face when im talking.I hate it ma.Not me je. Ayah pon.
Penah mama lyan ayh elok skrg ni? Nape mama wat cmtu kt ayah? knpe mama xpenah amek taw pe yg ayah rase.Nape mama lyan akak mcm mama lyan ayh? Mama tgur kitorang bile kitorang into sumthing jek.Mmg ayh syg akak ma.Ayh selalu ckp die syg akak.He always said the I Love U words. Always. but u ma? NEVER!! Masihkah tu jd salah akak klau ayh mnjakan akak? Give me everything i needed? I didnt get the thing i want from u,but still,it is Ayah's mistake if he gave it to me? Do u noe wut is it? it is Love ma. Nver once in my life time,u say,"Mama syg akak". Mimpi je laa nk dgr.Mama keras sgt. Trlalu ego. Xpernah pon skli pon mama berlembut.Bile mntak berlembut,mama salu nk ckp nenek dulu xde pon nk lembot2 ngn mama.Jadi akak sorg je laa kne trime akibat dripada kisah silam mam dlu? mcm tuh? adil ke? Mama taw x,nenek tu da mcm "Mak" bg akak. Die xmcm mama pon. Salu tnye msalah akak,pe yg akak wat skrg.Akak senang sgt dgn die. Akak suke bile die peluk akak.felt like we're connected.Tp bile nenek bg byk sgt kasih syg pon mama marah jugak.Ckp akak mngade ngn nenek. Ape ni ma.Ape2 yg akak wat baik,xpenah pon nk support. Tp klau adik2 lain,sggup perhabis duet,mase,tenaga utk dorg. Tipulah klau akak ckp x terase. Byk sgt lgi akak nk ckp kt mama. Tp entah sempat ke x. Xpe laa ma. Da nasib akak cmni. Tp jgn laa mama mnyesal klau ayah wat sumthing kat mama. He always give u warning kan. Dont blame him. He's not guilty. If u still love us,please react to us. Jgn wat kami cam x wujud je kat umah ni. Xpelah klau xdpt kasih syg ibu pon. I have friends who love me.I have my Zulkiflie too.I have dad,mak ngah,maklong,nenek.Dorg laa mak sy ma. But still,i love u ma.
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